At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize