Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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