also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize