But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
