3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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