Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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