i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
