Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
