he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
