her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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