I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
