that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize