Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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