WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize