Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
