she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
