CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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