Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
