Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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