I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
