I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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