I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
