Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Randomize
