I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
