I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
