A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
