i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
