I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
