ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
