i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize