put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
