Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
These tits shall not be calmed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
