Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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