Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
