So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
