Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
