I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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