Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
