My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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