I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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