U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
