her vagine was all disorganized.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
