me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
