Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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