How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
