If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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