Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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