I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
