Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The feeling are messing with the penis
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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