the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
