i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
