Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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