Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
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