Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
