I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
