I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
