after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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