hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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