That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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