Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
