1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I have demons in me.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
wow bdsm is so cute
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