My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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