i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize