One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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