I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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