sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize