Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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