Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
they're like a gay fantastic four
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
