I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
